No Guarantee

This uncertainty is the number one reason we never pursue those big things on our bucket list.

No decision in life is guaranteed to have a positive outcome. We can act from the best of our knowledge, but cannot really control what happens in the end. This uncertainty is the number one reason we sacrifice our dreams for the familiarity of the expected.

For the past 5 years, I was living on cruise control. I was comfortable in my job, my apartment, my relationship. Indifference and inertia took over and I forgot I was in the driver’s seat. I had been talking about moving to Austin for years and finally realized it would never happen unless I forced it to. That day, I began preparing for the move. I was ready to push into this new phase. To shed the dust that had collected around me and open up to change, struggle and possibility. Even though it was many months before we set off, with that first step it became real.

It is important to confront the repercussions of pursuing our dreams. To be fully accountable for them. When I was younger, I would often do things because my parents, teachers and friends expected it. When it got tough, I felt resentful because I did not feel in control. I did not feel like I had deliberately chosen to be on this path.

This move was different. The voices inside were saying, “Do this now.” They were drowning out the fear of what I could not know and quietly cheering me on. I was leaving my hometown for the first time, saying goodbye to everything familiar and everyone I loved. But, I decided this would be best for me anyway. It was the first decision that was 100 percent my own and after all those years, I’m finally back in the driver’s seat. There have been bumps and detours along the way, but this is my journey and I know I’m headed in the right direction.

Advertisements

12 comments

  1. It is amazing how much damage living on cruise control can cause, sadly. Not following your dreams, not listening to those voices inside you can really hurt you and, like you said, hurt others through your resentment of them. Ugh, I was SO there several years ago and had to make some big changes to listen to myself. It’s tough but worth it. Glad you’re following your heart as well girl!

    1. Exactly. Since I’ve made these changes I’ve discovered a community of like-minded people (like yourself!) and it gives me hope. I guess what they say is true, “If you build it, they will come.”

  2. I love this post. It captures the essence of what I feel is truly living life. A moment that leads to the intentional decision to live for yourself 100% instead of for others. My hope is that everyone can experience this realization…but you’re right, it’s something that people have to come to on their own.

    2010 was my year of these “do this now” moments. The first time I listened was to go back to school to get my Masters. Then the more I listened, the more “do this now” moments appeared. As I started to do more of them, my life changed drastically. For the better of course, but I won’t deny that things became scary and confusing at times…but exciting and freeing, too. I felt like for the first time I was expressing my true self to the world.

    Now, this year, it’s kind of happening again. And I’m still learning to trust and follow…and my life just keeps getting better and better because of it. Each time it’s still scary, but it’s also getting a little easier to just do it. 🙂

    Thanks for sharing, and can’t wait to hear about more of these moments to come 🙂

    1. Ahh, this makes me so happy! It’s funny how we seem to be on the same path these days. Your encouraging words helped me make a big change recently. I was on the fence about doing it and then I received one of your Sunday posts and it gave me the extra courage I needed to just go for it! In a lot of ways, you have been an inspiration for me. Even though it is scary to leap out into the unknown, reading your story gave me the assurance I needed to take that risk and to know deep down I would not only survive, but be better for it.

      1. Lol well we’re definitely inspiring each other! I love how you’re able to write about these things, and expand to everything from living spaces and interior design to food. I feel like I’ve done a lot of personal growth, but still need to apply this same intentional thinking to other aspects of my life. Your blog is helping me think outside the box, literally the space around me and outside of my own mind. So thank you for your posts!

        Thank you for commenting on my articles, too. I’m glad you’re finding value from my posts, and it’s always nice to know someone out there is listening. Super excited you took the risk and went for it!

  3. I know exactly what you’re talking about, I am still in that cruise control seat. I did what was expected of me all my life. Graduate, get a job with a decent salary, get my own apartment. I thought this would all make me happy, but really I feel like I’ve been living life as a zombie for the past few years. I work an absurd amount of hours in exchange for money. Money that I spend on things I don’t really need. In the mean time I have forgotten about the things I used to love. And looking back at it all, I can’t name a single thing I did these past few years that I’m actually proud of. Nothing I did is really ‘me’. And I want things to change, but do I actually do something about it?

    I know one day I’ll be out of al this and I’ll be able to look back and say, hey, I’m doing good now! But until that day, I need stories like yours to give me strength. Thank you for this 🙂

    1. I’m glad you shared this because your story is so much like my own and I know there’s more of us out there. I was always trying to be the perfect student, the perfect daughter, the perfect friend, and it wasn’t until recently (almost the age of 30) that I started to realize if I didn’t take action, this would be it. I have no doubt you will make a move when the time is right. For me, it took many years, and finally some line was crossed where I realized I can’t live my life in this way anymore. It certainly doesn’t happen overnight, but it sounds like you are moving towards a change. If you ever need someone to bounce your thoughts off of, feel free to email me at hellowellspring@gmail.com. I know I didn’t have a lot of people that understood what I was going through, so just wanted to offer in case you are in the same boat 🙂

      1. This definitely put a smile on my face 🙂 Indeed I feel like it is something not a lot of people understand. I have a lot of friends who are so driven and passionate in what they do that it’s almost difficult to bring up the subject. My boyfriend always says that the only thing standing in the way of what I want, is me. And maybe that’s true. But in the back of my head I keep thinking of reasons why I shouldn’t do what I want. I don’t know, I don’t have it all figured out yet. I’m hoping my upcoming trip to Norway will bring me some peace of mind!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s